So, your Emily got married: A guide to handling this tough time in your life.

It happened.

Your Emily, or Emma as some of you know her, got married. 

The worst part? She didn't tell you about it. 

How rude! The nerve of her! How could she?!

I know, I know. You didn't deserve this tragedy in your life but here we are shocked, shaken and confused. I'll give you a moment to gather your thoughts or a drink.

You ok? 

Ok, good.

Now that you've had a second, please look over the following guide of FAQs to going through this new chapter in your life. Everything is changing for you now, hopefully this will help ease the transitional period and give you the answers you've been looking for.

Q: Did you get married because you're pregnant? OH MY GOD ARE YOU HAVING A BABY?
A: No. There is not baby and there will be no baby for awhile. We've got our hands nice and full with Charlie.

Q: When did this happen?

A: This happened on a very perfect Wednesday in May. 

Q: Why wasn't I invited?
A: You not being invited wasn't a slight at you. We just decided to do this (necessary step regardless of whether there is a big wedding or a small one) in private for ourselves. We got married, we didn't have a wedding. When we have a wedding, you will know.

Q: No one you knew was there? Who was your witness?? WHY WASN'T I INVITED???????????????????????????
A: We had a photographer, a witness and the court house officiant. That was it.

Q: Well then why didn't you tell me? Or anyone for that matter?
A: Originally, we weren't going to tell anyone. We hoped that when the time came to take care of the actual marriage part before our wedding we would just say "Oh, it's fine, we took care of it." Then I got too excited and just told a couple of people and posted a photo. The photos, as you will see below, are some of the most precious things in the world to me. I couldn't keep them to myself. I wanted to wait to tell most people in person however with the way that gossip works, that wasn't possible.

Q: What was the rush?
A: There is no real answer for this that might make sense to you. We wanted to start our lives together. People always say "when you know, you know" and it kind of sounds like bullshit until you actually feel it. The entire feeling is so overwhelming and powerful. We wanted to start this beautiful and crazy journey together. Plus, we each want to be the ones to scream "PULL THE PLUG DAMNIT!" If the occasion should ever arise. (edit: don't think I should need to put this here but this that last part is obviously a joke)

Q: Do your parents know? What did they say? Were they mad? What were you wearing when you told them? Was it sunny outside when you did? 
A: All parties are aware. They're all happy that we are happy.

Q: Is your sister mad that you got married first?
This is asked a lot. No, my sister doesn't give a shit. She's happy that I'm happy and me getting married before her did not destroy her own wonderful and happy relationship and turn her into an unhappy shrew. It was a close one though. Glad she kept it together. Thanks, D.

Q: I'm mad. I wasn't invited and you didn't even tell me. How can my life ever be the same again?
A: Another one I seem to be getting a lot. I encourage you to try to look past my sins. I beg for your forgiveness and I hope that life rebuilds for you. Everything you know has change and the entire world might have stopped turning but understand that it gets better. Go back to work or go for a walk. I hear that hugging babies and playing with puppies really helps in times of turmoil. Holding onto anger of not being told for the rest of your life must be exhausting, take a spa day to let out the tension. You can get through this. Before you know it (like in the next 5 minutes) your life will be the same and everything will return to normal. #itgetsbetter #yeswecan #sisepuede

Q: Wow! I feel better already! How did you know?
A: How did I know that me getting married would not effect your life in any way, shape or form?
Call it a hunch.

We hope this has been informative for you. If you have any other questions you can, of course, send your carrier pigeon with a note. Address available upon request.

*On a serious note, the people who did know before this post who have given us love and good wishes I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your support has been very much appreciated.*

Below the photos from the day taken by the unbelievable Michelle Peralta. They are everything to me.

Quick notes on these photos:
-A HUGE thank you to Rachel Lynch of Ihateblonde.com for helping to style me for the day.
-Unif Gamma Ray Jacket
-For Love and Lemons Ethereal Maxi Dress
-Wildfox Luna Sunglasses
-Strawberry purse is from Buffalo Exchange
-Bouquet was made from the roses Jonathan had given me when he gave me my diamond ring.
-The tattoos are simple. My favorite tattoo is the arrow I have on the left side of my ribs. Jonathan liked the meaning and liked the idea that he could always use it to point at me. I got "darling", what has called me pretty much everyday since we've met, in his handwriting on my wrist.

Little love notes from Puerto Rico

It's 5:51 AM in San Juan Puerto Rico on August 1st 2015. The city noise I've grown up with for the past 24 years has been replaced with the sound of the ocean's waves and birds singing out to each other as if to say "good morning!"  I'm laying in the bed of the Airbnb I'm in watching the sun turn the clouds morning pink instead of their dark gray from night. Right beside me, I have my love's warm sleeping body cocooned in the comforter. Our legs our intertwined and I have one of his hands by my head with his fingers tangled loosely in my hair. I tried to wake him up to watch the sunrise with me. He woke up just enough to start to rub my hair and before the first cloud could begin to light up from the sun, he was out again. 

     I am overwhelmed with bliss. Not from the extravagance of this trip, being whisked away to Puerto Rico for my birthday and having what feels like our own private beach, but from the simplicity of it. Like this moment before we start our day, listening to Jonathan snoring lightly next to me. Our 7 am swims that we've had every morning since we got here. Our heated debates on whether the wave that just passed us in the ocean was one to jump over, ride to shore with or dive under. I'm just overwhelmed. My heart has never felt this full. 

     This blog is filled with love notes. Some are to friends, some are to family and some are even to past loves. This year in which I've partially documented on here has been monumental for me. It's involved a lot of figuring out where I stand by myself and with others. There were so many changes happening, and at times all at once, I sometimes felt like I was dragging my feet and confused about which direction to go in. 

     Then, a funny thing happened. One night, while out with friends, I connected with a photographer who's work I had been following for a long time. Meeting him was like nothing I can ever properly describe. I guess it was almost like watching fireworks for the first time, beautiful but a little scary at first. Within such a crazy, short period of time, I found him to be my other half. No one was as silly with me as he was. No one was as honest with me as he was. No one was as loving with me as he was. Not a day goes by where he doesn't look me in the eye and tell me that he loves me. I hear myself describing how all of it feels to people, how I know that he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with  and I almost sound crazed. "It's just this feeling. Like in your stomach, no, maybe more in your head. Actually more like heart? It's like when people say 'when you know you know' and you don't know but then when you know you're like wow, you know?" Ive just given up trying to explain it. It's just right.

    I know he'll find this as we eat breakfast or while I'm rinsing off in the shower after our morning swim. I'll end this post as so: I am so incredibly lucky to have found this man who is my other half. This man who pushes me to strive. The man who can see me crying and properly figure out when to tell me to suck it up and fight for what I want or to just hold me and help me work out my feelings to get to my next step. I'm lucky to have a partner in my life who I wake up every morning wondering how I have been so blessed to have found someone as courageous, smart and beautiful like him and can see when he wakes up he's thinking the same thing about me. I'm looking forward to the day when I walk down the isle in a big white ridiculous dress and for him to tell me I look like a beautiful marshmallow. I am one happy  woman. Thank you, Jonathan, for being a big helping hand in that. This is bliss.

Tuesday Night at Pianos

Shot the last show of Mothxr's residency on Tuesday and it was just such a blast. I got to see some old friends as well as made some new ones and discovered an incredible band called Reputante (seriously, give them a listen. They're great.) 

Here are some of the photos from the night.