A side note

I almost forgot what this blog was actually for. 

On my old tumblr blog I wrote this as my reasoning for my blogging:

"Most you can imagine (check out what goes on behind the scenes! Look at out takes! Videos from the shoot! YAY!) but the main reason I have this blog set up is for my family. A lot of them can’t really figure out why I do this. They can’t picture what goes on in my head for a shoot. Since they’ve branded me to be unfocused they think a lot of what I do is luck, unplanned and pretty but my work has no true meaning or worth behind it. I find it frustrating to explain myself to them over and over again so this is mostly for them. They might not be happy with what I do but I am. I guess that’s all I can do.

So to all of my friends and family who have been following me on this journey (whether you believe in what I do or not) this is for you. 
This is for me to sort out my thoughts and put a place for my inspiration. You’ll get the goods on for behind the scenes, the out takes and the videos so just follow along.

But like I said this is dedicate to the family who still isn’t behind me 100%

Lucy, this is for you."

It's still true. I still want to be able to show people what goes through my head when I work. 

So, here we go...

Lazy Tuesday

This project of photographing more things is making me happier.

These are the things I stop and notice.

...All of those ships

I just want to photograph things passing by.

Memories passing

Ideas passing

Dreams passing

Anxiety passing 

I promise this blog won't all be black and white photos. 

I guess it just goes with how I'm feeling right about now.

From what Maureen taught me about black and white photography.

It's simply just a representation of my feelings.

That's all. 

Anonymous

She likes the smell of a cold evening.

She likes to watch the sun set in the winter.

She likes the tastes of pickled peppers.

She likes songs that fit the mood of the day.

She likes how a first morning stretch feels.

She doesn't like her hands pruning when she's been in the bath for too long.

She doesn't like the sound of the train halting to a stop at each station.

She doesn't like the taste of the first pull of a cigarette. 

She doesn't like the smell of sugar cookies.

She doesn't like the feeling of being hungover.

Accepting everything your senses have to offer is easier said than done. 

Click the photo to see it bigger.

(Thank you to my anonymous model who let me photograph her and post this photo)

A change in my photography

A couple of days ago I began to think about what my work will mean in 20 years. I hope, of course, to create some sort of career for myself but what will my future family think? At 39 I think I will have children (no matter how terrifying of an idea that is to me now) and I want to be able to show them how my life was growing up. I want to show them the highs and the lows. The things that I saw, experienced and loved. When my children are teenagers and think I don't understand anything they are going through I want them to know I do. My mother's teenage years are a mystery to me and sometimes I believe it's why we have a hard time seeing eye to eye. The reason I got into photography in the first place was because I wanted to preserve memories forever. 

I feel as if I've lost that a bit. I've become more focused on working with beautiful girls and boys and creating a story. Now, there is nothing wrong with this goal but I want to be able to create a story for my future of my life. I will still work with models, actors and musicians but I will be focusing a little more on my friends, my lovers, my family, my days and myself. I just want something to remember these good times. 

I was also heavily inspired by two incredible photographers. They are both beautiful people and I can only hope one day I can create the way they do. Please see their work. They are the one who made me realize again that photography isn't all about models and fashion. 

Nirrimi Hakanson

Matt Caplin

Please, take a second to enjoy their creations.

I began to photograph the things around me. This is what I've done so far. You can like, you can dislike it but this is for me and my future. 

Absolutely more to come.